jesus christ birty

wiggy

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does anyone know if birty is ok after his unfortunate trip to the pleasure beach, i know i shouldn't laugh but i'm a tight bastard!

soz boits;)

[YT=]F0wYXXv2uoY[/YT]
 

Cop

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Nothing tight about poking fun at a little poker...

Janice! it hurts, it hurts, it hurts :) :) :)
 

Birty

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Outstanding that, very good. I'll never go back there. To be honest I didn't recognise myself as I've put a bit of weight on since then.

You ginger fuckwit wiggy.

I don't know what you're laughing at either cop, I'm surprised you can even type a reply, you fat handed bastard. You rent your hands out at small childrens parties to be used as a bouncy castles. Anything for the kids eh.....the east european kids.
 

Cop

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f*ck off Birty! Get back to your tank, Shamu is beginning to wonder where you are!
 

wiggy

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oh no just found the audition vid for bar stewards, it is the of cop

[YT=coppack]c4IlqVdbTKI[/YT]
 

Cop

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[YT=It's a disability!]BQyxGTjZi2I[/YT]
 
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Birty

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Right Cop, who's typing this shit for you? If it's young Igor you better tell him to stop, his mummy and daddy are looking for him. I bet you didn't tell him the truth about that strange tasting lollipop you had him sucking...whilst blindfolded.

I can lose the weight....you can't stop the urges though can you? They creep up on you don't they...in the night.
 

Cop

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Birty, be confident. Stand tall and walk proud. Your weight does not define who you are as a person and it is clear that some people don't have the first clue on getting to know you in person.

You know you're a valuable person; just because other people dont know it, it does not diminish your worth... you fat fucker!

I will never get over the time we were walking on the beach in Cornwall and Greenpeace tried putting you back into the sea... actually you said you wanted a job, in the summer you could work on the beach in Cornwall and sell your shade!
 
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Birty

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Ha haaaa. Top drawer.

You still let small boys suck your winky.

I'm not surprised you can't forget Cornwall...you got arrested for raping the coastguard's son, in my shade...you thought no-one could see. Good times...except for young Simon...I don't think he enjoyed himself at all. What was it..."He said no but he meant yes...your honour".
 

Cop

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Ahhhh, the old "No means yes and yes means no game"... you can't go wrong with that one... Especially when they ask if you want to go Supersize at McDonalds Drive Thu, eh Birty? :)
 

Cop

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[YT=Birty Presenting Student Documentary]3vFQaiX7M8U[/YT]
 

Birty

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Fucking hell Cop that was weak after your previous efforts. The young lad must be tiring, it is past his bedtime. Actually the Macdonalds drive 'thu' bit was the best. He obviously can't spell either, give him a backhander...and that isn't a euphamism.

I'm going to go and do what I like doing best, I'm having a big sausage sandwich. You go and do what you like best, have a small sausage sandwich. Only mine will involve food of some kind. I can only imagine what yours will involve.

My work here is done. I feel slightly disturbed, I don't know how you live with it full time. You're going to hell methinks.
 

Cop

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Birty is off to bed everyone... but he wants to prove that he does excercise before he goes to sleep!

[YT=Birty's bedroom webcam LIVE]G7hTVVpli4g[/YT]
 

Birty

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Videos? There's no intelligence there at all. That's what you get when you're up against 2 people with a combined age of 30...and one of them's 25.

Okay then one more, then I promise I'll let you have the last laugh. Honestly you're such a child...it's probably the company you keep.

Okay folks it's only fair that I should point out that the video wasn't me, (not the last video shown...that was me working out before nap-time. I thought I looked great). The video of the kid screaming wasn't me. Most of you will be thinking that Cop, in trying to be amusing went onto google or you tube and typed in, 'whiny fat kid screaming', or 'little fat bastard', or even 'Birty working out', and if you were dealing with most people then you'd be right.

Only you aren't...you really aren't. That video is one of hundreds that Cop has stored on his computer of young fat boys, or in most cases young fat naked boys in various mental states. It's a shame really as not 5 months ago the local authorities seized hold of his hard drive in a crackdown they were calling 'operation evil child sex attackers'. They told him that he was on his last warning. I guess some people just can't be helped.

Cop, I'm not happy you were spying on me whilst in a state of excercise...you got the wrong window, my son's is round the back. Try it and I'll call the police. Come to think of it he goes all quiet and withdraws into himself whenever you come and pick me up, I've just never put 2 and 2 together.

Does anyone have any crisp?
 

Cop

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I'm just settling down to watch the Super Bowl... that’s the American Football competition Birty, and not a huge dish to put your crisps in.

I think I will go with the New England Patriots, because they have England in their name and Peter Griffin supports them. :)
 
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