Ok, now then. I'm all for political correctness, I really am. If it stops awful comedians making lazy racist jokes then for me that's all well and good. However, that all went out of the window the moment I turned on the telly and saw mini-me in a little suit, and a massive f*ck off afro and tash that covered half his face singing endless love with a swedish whore. Laughed my head off. Now that is fucking entertainment.
HERE is Charlie Brooker's take on CBB so far. He has such a way with words....
Having failed to destroy the world, Celebrity Big Brother (9pm, daily, C4) returns with a surprisingly high-profile lineup: considering the nuclear fallout generated last time, you could be forgiven for expecting a cast list comprising the bloke from the Admiral Insurance ads, John Noakes's PA, three random Guatemalans and a photograph of Cheryl Baker glued to a broom. Instead, there are at least three or four people you've at least heard of, even if the last time you heard about them was six or seven years ago....
....Anyway, apart from MY VERY CLOSE FRIEND COOLIO, there are a few other recognisable faces - and Ulrika Jonsson, whose face isn't as recognisable as it used to be. It's changed, yet stayed roughly the same, as though it's made from different material. Material from space. It makes her look like someone else wearing special effects makeup to make them look like Ulrika Jonsson. Maybe that's the twist. Maybe it's actually Bob Mortimer underneath all that. The truth will out.....
....Pinder, meanwhile, went from "sexy" to "plain" in a nanosecond: as soon as she mentioned her Tory outlook in her introductory VT, you could hear intelligent penises shrivelling across the nation.
The thing with Verne, is that while he has the cute factor he hasn't actually done very much in the house. If he was normal sized no-one would pay him any attention. However, the duet with Ulrika was hilarious.
None of them really get me excited, to be honest. Bring back Luke and Bex.
Saw Verne's buggy bash into the DR door on live feed and was in tears laughing. It was the surprise element of it, I think, that made it particularly funny. A golden moment on Big Brother from any series.
That aside, the tipsy slury Verne and his chatting up the girls would've come across entirely different if he wasn't a dwarf. He's like Mikey from BB9, last year. He got away with so much purely because he was blind. Verne gets away with a lot of things most people wouldn't because people label him cute. Even he's said he doesnt like that, although he does play on it at the same time.
Don't get me wrong, I like Verne. But some of his behaviour gets glossed over a lot.