Golden Compass

Cop

Making Dreams
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#1
Just seen "The Golden Compass" at the cinemas, it was a toss up between that and "I am Legend" but the lass I went with had already seen it, so we chose a movie which I assumed stared Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman... They are in it, but hardly.

Like most fuckwits, I haven’t read the book, and I appreciate that a novel to film adaptations are rarely successful, and with only one hour and a bit to fill I was expecting it to be filtered down for an easily pleased knobhead like me to look forward to a sequel.

But I cant understand how a film that has children and animals as the main focal point can take itself so seriously, it was very dull, slow and the majority of characters are very lifeless. It was like watching a fantasy version of “EastEnders”... There was no comic relief in it at all, no bits that made me smile, or anything that I thought was particularly clever, it was mainly dross and over-dramatic acting.

I don’t even know what the film was about, but it had smashing special effects, excellent sore, great cast, and some nice little action scenes but the plot difficult to follow, (or maybe it was so simple I imagined it to be more difficult, I’m not sure). It dragged out so much.

The Golden Compass is about this girl called Lyra (or something) and her mate was this orphan, for some reason Lyra wants to travel with this compass that Nicole Kidman isn’t supposed to get hold off, but she is going on this adventure Kidman, and everything seems rosy at first but then we realise Kidman is a baddy. So Lyra and her demon, (which can change form into any animal it wants because Lyra is a kid) run off with this compass… which they cant read.

Then they meet up with a group of blokes and a woman, who is the mother of the orphan mate, who was kidnapped ages ago, show her how to use the compass. Then I think the story was to find an orphanage were there kids had been taken to, because they are having their demons separated from them (which to me wasn’t a bad thing because they would annoy me anyway)… In fact I’m not sure if that is a spoiler or not, sorry if it is.

Then they meet the guy who narrated the Big Lebowski, Sam Elliott who tells her to get in touch with this Polar Bear, who is a bit of a dosser drinking whiskey and that with a low self-esteem. Anyway Lyra convinces him to join her by looking into her compass and the Polar Bear puts on his amour and they all go on a mission to get the kids…

At least that’s what I think it was about.

The script was like from a cheap action movie, and the film lacks quirkiness and charm, in the opening scenes I thought the Demons would supply this (the Demons are friendly little animals that follow the humans around, they are like the humans spirit or soul… but they don’t much, in fact they offer nothing, in fact I cant see the point why they were included)

I can’t see what audience this is targeted at, I just couldn't relate to this film at all... I suppose the Polar Bear was good, but there wasn't enough of him. He is a strong warrior with a booming angry voice; he is in a very good fight scene with a King Polar Bear or something… any he is played by Ian McKellen

I assume its one of these which is going to have sequels, I don’t think I could put myself though another two films.

Take that Wossy!
 

wiggy

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#2
the only bit that sounds interesting is the bit were you take a lass to the pictures, amazing!
 

Birty

Gentleman Actor
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#3
wiggy said:
the only bit that sounds interesting is the bit were you take a lass to the pictures, amazing!
Yeah that bit was too far fetched for me too wiggy. He always has to stretch the realm of possibility that bit too far. To be honest I stopped reading after that because when you start a review with such nonsense as this it's difficult to believe anything after that.
 

wiggy

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#5
well your in luck son, just got a new bike so that i can shed some weight this next week, it came with a free puncture repair outfit so you can have her inflated and ready to go for this weekend if need be!

by the way my scales are bust! birty will verify this.
 

Birty

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#6
They are bust actually. Probably the weirdest scales ever. I went from being lighter than wiggy before I got on them to being heavier than him when I was on them. They are his scales though, he knows how to manipulate them for his own ends. You'd think if they were wrong for me they must be wrong for him but no, they put 2 stone on me and for him they were normal. He enjoyed that. Odd.
 
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#7
The book was amazing!! i finished watching the movie and i'm so upset with the ending. they should have just stuck to the original story.
 
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