Cop's Top Tips - Cannes

[Chase]

Well boys, looks like I'm definitely setting up to go. I recieved my first letter that my film, Static was recieved by Cannes. They say I should here about acceptance within a couple of weeks where they have a big press conference 2 weeks before end of april.

Flights are like 67 quid right now so I plan to stay a week, which is like the middle of things.

Not sure of accomodation yet so still waiting for my producer to pony up funds. Maybe I should practice sleeping on the floors of bars or bathrooms like Will Smith in Pursuit of Happyness.

Thanks for the facebook contact, Cop. There is a company called Northbound entertainment looking for films to showcase in their programme. Have you guys come across them?

I sent email for more info and still waiting.

I'm getting more excited though. I don't have any running dogs like you guys do when you travel in big gangs but I do have stuff ready for presentation so we'll see how my distribution speech works.

Hopefully most people will think I'm faking being from England although I'll have my american accent and hip hop gear. Maybe I can pretend to be Britany spears bodyguard if she shows up.

Ya reckon?

 

[Booth]

Chase, don't worry about only going for a week. I'd recommend maybe going on the 2nd day or even the 3rd day.

1st day is mostly people collecting accreditation. Apart from the big first night opening film nothing much happens.

2nd day it kicks off, it's major busy.

3rd day is more of the same but people are getting more familiar (not a problem if you're a regular).

After the first week it winds down and half way through the second week it gets quiet. Last few days are very quiet and a lot of distributors/sales agents have done a bunk.

So it depends if you want to ease into it gently, or go full on into the hustle and bustle.

And you're more than welcome to join our group Chase. Though most of the action happens after dark with regards to partying. We know a few contacts who keep their ears to the ground for parties. It seems every year we manage to get into more. The downside is... More hangovers! Always best to know someone Welsh too to get you into their party. Unfortunately our Welsh buddy Graham won't be there... Though if you can perfect the accent like that American one you're always pretending to have.

 

[Chase]

cheers for that, Mike.

i was feeling all billy No matey.

Now I think I may have to reconsider my timings.

You see the festival begins on the wed. But I'm already family booked for thurs to sun. So I wasn't planning on going until mon, which is after the days you are talking about. Matter of fact, i got to figure out when short film corner actually is but no info on site yet.

So I was gonna do mon-to fri and the fest ends on sun. So flight out sat.

So maybe I should shorten my stay then? But I don;t know How I can make it any earlier.

 

[Booth]

It's mainly the last couple of days that are quiet. But it does get quieter as the second week goes on.

We're going on the first day and staying for nine days.

I'm pretty sure the Short film corner is on till the last day. Not entirely sure but last year went for 9 days and short film corner (dubbed 'short penis corner' by Paul Gordon) was on every day we were there. It's a regular haunt for us during 'happy hour'.

 

[Chase]

Sounds great. I'm in negotiation with my american producers and my DoP already has said he wants to come if we get accepted so that;s cool because then Producer has to up his accomodation which means no bathroom toilets for me.

I also figure I'll ask the wife to come out in second half of week so I can get her to help with costings and pretend its a sunny getaway holiday.

Oh what we freelancers do to dip in to the family pot.

 

[Booth]

The only problem with taking your lady is the problem of getting her into places. The accreditation badge you have will get you into the festival enclosure which includes the pavilions. On top of that to get into the main hotels where the major studios stay, you need that accreditation. Around these hotels are barriers where fans and autograph hunters congregate for when Brad and Angelina step out. Your badge is the magic that gets you into those hotel suites to pitch your idea to Warner Bros, or because you want to have a drink in the Martinez piano bar with Quentin.

Being there with someone without accreditation isn't great because you can't really do anything. It's not a festival for the public at all, they just hang around outside taking snaps from a distance. A few years ago someone on our team couldn't get their badge and ended up going after a couple of days.

The beach is nice with nice blue sea (hey it's the French South coast what did you expect) but I would imagine if she did go, she should take a friend and you won't see her very much. If she can deal with that fine, but if not I'd not bother at all. It may cause more tensions that it solves.

Imagine being in the Petit Majestic (a bar that almost everyone goes too in the middle of Cannes) and then someone coming up to you to tell you there's a party and they can get you in. But you need your badge. How do you tell your wife that you're going to leave her to live it up at some swish bash with free champagne? There's a simple answer, you can't if you value your marriage or your testicles

 

[Chase]

SHe loves the sun more than me. No, I'm kidding. I was just thinking about what you said of the wind down, Mike. I'm thinkng that because I'm going out after the first weekend, I would only catch the tail end stuff which my badge will get me in to. My producers will go out before me. And by the second wed, I still am there for a couple of days and she can come then. When it was over, hell no not while it was going on.

Jessica Alba or Angelina may need my attention bro. KAte Winslet may want a drink or something.

 

[Booth]

I know a few people who have done that. Their girlfriends have arrived as the festival is finishing off and they stay for an extra few days. Not a bad plan. And you may even be able to buy her a pass for the last few days. They aren't usually easy to negotiate, but with the last couple of days being quiet they seem more lenient.

I don't think they're that expensive but it takes about half a day to process from what I remember with people I know who have applied for them.

Jessica Alba or Angelina may need my attention bro. KAte Winslet may want a drink or something.

Oh well, I suppose that's a way to finance your projects and meet Hollywood A listers at the Cannes Film Festival...

Become a waiter!

Sorry Chase couldn't resist.

 

[johnmoordon]

Bill Maynard is a legend i once took a piss next to him. You don't get much more glamorous than that....surely on a par with being on a piece of carpet with Sharon Stone...you have really lived Michael. Do they smell of honeysuckle Chris? You worked on that show didn't you?

Berlin for me is everything Cannes isn't. It's the filmmakers festival, Cannes is for the actors and fame junkies. Perhaps why you enjoy it so much mike.

Cannes is too hot and claustrophobic for me, full of idiots 'star' spotting. Give me Wernor Herzog anyday. I love Berlin as a city too.

 

[Cop]

Bill Maynard is a legend i once took a piss next to him. You don't get much more glamorous than that

Our DoP Paul Gordon went "cock to cock" with Malcolm McDowell in 2007

There are a lot of fame junkies there they come in different varieties, genuine film enthusiasts, those who want to make it in the film world, crazy stalkers who want everything signing and the weirdo's who spend thousands of pounds on movie props on internet auction sites. But being on the red carpet is quite an experience, the music, the people the paparazzi, as Paul Gordon says... it's good to pretend.

 

[Chase]

No worries, Mike. You make me wanna sing "The boys are back in town" from 48 hours.

 

[Cop]

I also figure I'll ask the wife to come out in second half of week so I can get her to help with costings and pretend its a sunny getaway holiday.

I wouldn't recommend that, although I have never met either of you, I would say that's not a good idea - you wont see each other.

If she is happy to sit on a busy beach for a week that's fine but I think you will end up arguing. Also if she isn't into film... that's all everybody talks about, and she could find it very boring.

Also, you don't have a schedule as such, in our group we never planned to eat at a certain time becuase you might be doing something else - such as watching a screening, having a meeting or enjoying networking with somebody and you might end up eating with them instead. So you might feel you are missing out on something constructive to meet your better half. She will feel guilty that she is keeping you from the festival, and you will feel guilty that you are leaving her out a bit

If you want to take her for a holiday while you are in Cannes I suggest spending time with her after the festival

 

[Isherwood093]

Cannes is too hot and claustrophobic for me,

I agree! It's like being in prison.

 

[Cop]

Tips updated

Cannes is horribly busy in some places... if you need to get somewhere while there is a red carpet event on... you might as well not bother

 

[Booth]

Our DoP Paul Gordon went "cock to cock" with Malcolm McDowell in 2007

Actually that was me if you remember. You were standing outside with Pauly G waiting for me. I was that much of a "fame junkie" that I made sure to make myself urinate at the exact moment Mr McDowell had the urge. I got these tablets that bring a big wee on within about 10 minutes. I made sure to check for all the signs of bladder discomfort on his face, the hands in the pants pocket to clutch and stem the flow. I had it down to a tee and timed it well. I think "cock to cock" is an exaggeration though Cop, I refute those rumours as I'm sure would Malcolm.

 

[Cop]

Actually that was me if you remember. You were standing outside with Pauly G waiting for me.

That's right I remember now... But what happens behind toilet doors stays behind toilet doors where I come from... that reminds me I need to put plumbing information on the Tips page.

McDowell always clocked us since that day

 

[Jon Williams]

Just one important thing to bear in mind for anyone reading this excellent guide to Cannes - the £/Euro exchange rate! I think Cop's quoting drinks prices for last year. This year.....Ouch!

Oh, and Chase, other than for Cannes during the festival it's mid-season on the Cote D'Azur. Towards the end of the festival accommodation will become available at much cheaper prices.

 

[Cop]

Well spotted Jon... I have added information about the exchange rate to the Tips page

http://www.xe.com/ucc/

 

[Booth]

Oh, and Chase, other than for Cannes during the festival it's mid-season on the Cote D'Azur. Towards the end of the festival accommodation will become available at much cheaper prices.

In fact on places like the Shootingpeople.org newsletter, you will find people who have booked places for the whole festival, realized they only needed to be there for the first week, so are looking for someone to take over their room/apartment in the second week in return for a bit of compensation. You might want to check that out.

 

[johnmoordon]

But did you see his cockwork orange?