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Nearly done now yes. My bits done hopefully in the next week, which is a relief. It'll be quality when it's done, should be very funny.

Is it a swanky place then? When do you start?

Dark hair? Quite long? Had a conversation with you about Morecambe's hot spots? If so then I do remember you.

In the words of Gob from 'Arrested Development', "I've made a huge mistake". Don't tell the wife, she'll go absolutely mental...although when you think about it, is it really cheating?

Dave who's that bird in your avatar? Is everyone else thinking the same thing as me - an absolute corker. You'll have to bring her, she's every bit as bonny as that common sort who had her fingers in my mouth during the last shoot. Both pearlers mind.

There's no need for sarcasm Strawbs. I thank you anyway.

Ha haaa! Quality that, nice. And now I'm going to burn your shop down

Good effort Gorf but if I've got the joke right then it should have been aimed at Cop and not me. He's the sex offender, I'm the fat one. At least get your targets right, that's just lazy. Oh and I've stopped trying that now Cop, I always forget to shave, it's a dead giveaway.

Ahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Brilliant. You've officially gone mental. All from one little amusing remark. Ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I promise I didn't get Joanna to...

I'm sorry what? I only wrote 'I'm sorry what?' because it wouldn't let me just put 'eh?' in as it was too few characters. Eh?

See. No further questions your honour!

What on purpose? That's vile Cop, I'm surprised you survived that lift ride.

I was actually still harping on about the whole 'Howard Hughes/Bubbleboy' thing dude. The intention was completely asthma joke free believe it or not.

That's a fine physical specimin is that. It was taken right in the middle of my 'no greens' period. I actually meant the one Cop put up showing someone sneezing in your face. He must have removed it. My lack of loyalty has been noted? You sound like Darth Vader, and breathe like him...

Hey if I ask for a plain burger it means just that. And it's not just lettuce, it's all things green, they freak me out. Ha haa! I thought you took it quite well until the part where you went into great detail to quantify the amount of colds you get in relation to the national average, and...

Don't worry, he picks up bugs alarmingly easily. It's really quite freakish. He's the new Howard Hughes, opening doors with a handkerchief, burning his clothes once he's worn them. When we're finished filming, he's going to live in one of those bubbles that sick kids with no immune system...

Our date is off Chief Wiggum. I can't make it. Fleur's going on the piss with her pals and I've got my boy. I'm not too put out, you'd have only tried to give me a nosh at the intermission with your Camp David garb on. I can do without that. I'm still scarred from getting a bit too close to...

A little Bird Patty, I wonder who that could be? I never used the word crap, crap wasn't what I said. Your tuna ones had those evil little yellow things in which I'm not keen on. I liked the others you did, they were probably the best butties I've ever had, ever, in the history of the world...

Haaa! Do you really want to start this again? Coz I could go on all night, unlike you apparently. I tell you what, I'll stop from now on. Pick your battles matey, coz you're onto a loser here. See I said I'd stop, if I was carrying on I could have made a joke about that last remark. I...

Oh come on you set yourself up for that one. Hee hee. I do like butties it has to be said.